Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Sometimes, You Just Have To Love Yourself



I think what everyone is asking for in this inconstant and inconsistent world is assurance; to be sure in something somehow, to be sure about someone, to know for sure that someone will fall and rise with them.

Some, if not most, people are choosing to stay with people who keep on lying to their faces, partners who keep on hurting them physically and emotionally. It’s not like they don’t have a choice, believe me, they do, but they fear for the surprises after the change that they are about to make. The saying, “change is the only permanent thing in the world,” is yes, cliché, but most definitely what this world is all about. There is no assurance that they will be okay if they decided to let go of the things that are continuously hurting them.

We all crave for the love we give; we all thirst for the attention we offer; we all want someone to take care of us, someone who’ll handle our fragile souls with care. We all want someone who’ll look at us the way Brad Pitt looks Angelina Jolie, even if we don’t have the natural lips she has. We all want someone who’ll be sure about us, no doubts, no lies, and no second thoughts.

We all want a Bonnie to our Clyde, a Romeo to our Juliet; we all want someone who’ll stay and stick with us through good and bad times. We all are praying for someone who’ll fight for the love they feel for us. We all want to be safe. Because after all, who wants to feel pain?

But you see, the only people capable of giving us assurance are ourselves. You cannot expect something from someone and then get hurt when he did not do what it was you thought he would do for you. We are living in an era where there are only two types of people in the world: foolish, and trickster. Whatever angle you please to see it, one will use one for his own good. But you cannot complain if you ever get hurt, it was your choice, it was your decision, it was all you.

In this world, we need to stand for ourselves, we need to assure ourselves, we need to be our own kind of the knight in shining armor we all are waiting for. We need to be the damsel in distress for ourselves. For some people will always value their selves more than they value anyone else.

We all crave for a selfless type of love, we all want someone to stay, to accept, and to love the beast within us. We need to be that person to give that kind of love to ourselves. People are afraid to get hurt, so they will hurt you first before you can even touch them.

But see, nobody is capable of giving you the assurance you are looking for in this inconsistent world, for it will only be you who can protect yourself, it will only be you who can choose who to trust, who to hold promises on to. You cannot blame someone for the emotional feel you are going through, you chose to trust him, to expect, to assume. You have the same amount of responsibility of putting yourself in your position with the person you are accusing of such doing.

So stand up, be brave, and be your own knight in shining armor to save your damsel self in distress. Go slay your own dragons. 

Credits to Thought Catalog for these words and inspirations.

Sunday, April 17, 2016

The Truth That You Leave



一直覺得很幸運,在我的少女時代里,曾有個人一直在我身邊,與我分享每一天的喜怒哀樂,每一天的新發現,大事小事都會相互信息,那幾年的每一天都變成了習慣。

記得你分享的每一首歌曲,也記得你把宮崎駿那麽棒的經典帶到我的世界裏。記得你每天到樂室很勤奮的練習,你説你想自學鋼琴,很努力很努力地學習。當然,你很有天分,笙,大提琴,揚琴,琵琶,鋼琴你樣樣摸得透,放學后在樂室里和朋友們一同合奏自己喜愛的曲子,那是多麽愉快的時光。你在我想退出這個團體的時候勸我勤奮練習,然後幫助我這個拍子永遠抓不准的人找到拍子,幫我抓音準,邀我每天一起練習。

還記得我們曾經都很喜愛的九把刀作品,常常會互相借閲,然後分享裏頭故事情節。印象很深刻的是第一本向你借閱的書,不是那種純情《那些年我們一起追的女孩》,而是九把刀《樓下的房客》,故事也有夠變態的。

從認識那年起,每年生日你一定是第一時間祝賀我的人,真的很感謝每天10點就要睡覺的早睡寶寶會特地挨到12點位的就是祝你一個生日快樂。也很感謝15歲的那份禮物,我一直收藏在床頭,至今也有6年了吧。我一直承諾說會回送生日禮物,但一直沒機會,真的現在想起來還是有點虧欠,就連你要離開去升學的時候也沒有給你好好送行。記得你説你在咖啡店打工,本來要約請喝咖啡,但由於種種因素沒能赴約,真的不太好意思呢。

人與人有聊不完的話真的好難,但那幾年有這麽一個人在身邊挺好的。身邊好朋友也會好奇地問“你們到底每天有那麽多話題聊嗎?” 哈哈 我也不清楚,反正就是習慣,習慣有事沒事地都跟你傾訴。其實喜歡的東西,眼光都很相似,話自然就多了,不是嗎?

很久以后,我們少聯絡了,上了大學都有各自的世界,我有我的生活,你有你的忙碌,我們不再每年的生日爲彼此第一時間送上祝福,不再每天噓寒問暖,不再有時間湊在一起討論一些天馬行空的事了。很開心去交換一個學期的時候還有機會約出來見個面,一樣有聊不完的話,一樣能夠很自然地討論彼此的生活。啊,還很驚訝一見面的時候發現鞋子竟然也一樣,都是同一款。哈哈哈 還真是眼光一致呢。不知道下次見面會是什麽時候,説了再見也不知道何時會再見,嗯,不過大家過得安好就好。

記得你介紹這首歌,而且還印了鋼琴譜,你曾承諾過學好這首歌后,會教我,然後彈給我聽,不過我想這是不可能了。不過話説回來,很多以前的承諾也都沒實現,那就當讓它成爲過往的遺憾吧。

很久以前看過網上一段話,做不成男女朋友,做個特別的朋友,有什麽不好呢?
每個人這輩子, 心中都有過這么一個特別的朋友, 很矛盾的行為。 一開始可能不甘心只做朋友的, 但久了,突然發現這樣最好。 寧願這樣關心對方的心情, 總好過彼此生活在一起受傷害。

那是一段最純真的時光,有你在,就是我的小幸運。